By Rob Tannenbaum
Blender, November 2005
TELL US ABOUT YOUR SELF-PORTRAIT. WHO IS PRINCESS SCRIBBLY?
Princess Scribbly actually exists. I found her online — it’s like a children’s drawing of a princess, with her crown all crooked and a funny little face. She doesn’t look perfect like a princess should, she’s a little off, but she has dignity. I’ve always been this unkempt little princess. That’s the personality that my family and friends know.
WHAT WAS YOUR NICKNAME IN SCHOOL?
“Lizard”, “Zil”, “Pickle Nose”. “Batty” was the biggest — some people still call me “Batty”. It started from a Dentyne commercial where a guy goes “Hello, Betty!” Then it became “Batty” because of my personality. I’m prone to spaciness. There’s a character in Harry Potter that made me uncomfortable because she reminded me of myself and she’s not a flattering character. Her name’s Luna Lovegood, and she’s a complete outcast and nerd. She’s just oblivious to whatever anyone says about her.
WHO WERE YOU IN A PREVIOUS LIFE?
I think I was in the Civil War. I can get slightly kooky about ghost stories and I have occasional psychic bouts. I think of myself as a little sensitive to energy. For instance, I can’t sleep in old buildings. I just want clean energy. It’s one reason I moved to California — I wanted to get to the least ghosty place on earth.
WHAT’S A “PSYHIC BOUT”?
I had a 9/11 dream a month and a half before it happened. It was pretty fucked up. A lot of Arab women are in mourning, and then I see this plane flying in really low. I’m like, “Oh my God, it’s gonna crash,” and there’s this giant fireball. All these people are caring for the wounded, I’m walking around dumbfounded and over to my left I see another plane coming in too low, and I realize it’s going to crash. Here’s my theory: I call it pre-dreaming. It was the kind of dream I would have had after watching TV all day on 9/11. When an event is super-impactful, you pre-dream it.
WHAT ARE YOU LIKE WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK?
Pretty insufferable. In my 20s, I was kicked out of bars for being arrogant. Now that I’m a mom, I never, ever get drunk. Half a glass of wine and I’m giggling.
HAVE YOU EVER VIDEOTAPED YOURSELF HAVING SEX?
We tried it with a digital camera once, and I got terrified. There’s no control over where it goes. Oh sure, we’re friends now, but what happens after the breakup?
THAT’S WHAT THE INTERNET IS FOR. HOW WYOUD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR TASTE IN SEX?
If you were to film it, it would look normal. It’s more what’s going on in my mind: what we’re doing, what roles we are. As into sex as I am, I like it with one person that I know well and am planning to be with for a while. Because then my fantasy life kicks in.
WHAT’S YOUR POSITION ON PORN?
I really wish they’d make pornography for women. I would like to see men and women exploited equally.
MAYBE THAT COULD BE YOUR NEW CAREER.
I think I can live without the infamy. I have enough already. And I don’t think I’d want to see all those pussies. I don’t think I’d want to powder them.
SPEAKING OF WHICH: WAX OR SHAVE?
Wax. I do it myself now. I’m tired of spreading my legs for strangers. I use Nad’s — it’s a bad name, but it’s from Australia. It’s made out of sugar. You could eat it if you wanted to.
IT’S NICE TO HAVE A DEPILATORY THAT CAN DOUBLE AS A DESSERT. WOULD YOU SAY YOU’RE A GOOD GIRL OR A BAD GIRL?
Both. I’m really honest and I try to be a great mother, so I’m a good girl. I’ve worked hard to overcome my natural selfish tendencies. But I will sometimes lead people on larks, try to get away with stuff and create a little adventure. I’m a bad girl in that sense. I want to be a feral thing, I want to just run wild. The bad girl gets a lot of glee when stuff’s going awry.